these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
