I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
