Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize