porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
