love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
