you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
