Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Oh god it's open bar.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
