I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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