carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i just had sex bonerless
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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