Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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