I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
