So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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