Pappa wants mamma naked
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize
