I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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