I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
