He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
