How'd it feel making her break her religion?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You may now shotgun with the bride
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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