WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize