Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
