I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
