Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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