the new term for farting is butt boxing.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
