That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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