i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
