I'm drive I can fine osifer
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
