So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
