You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
