I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
MIDGETS
????
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
