why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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