I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
my shit smells like andre
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
