so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
