Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
