i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
