I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
