Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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