this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
