I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
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