I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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