i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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