do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
