so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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