What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
