I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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