no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
