my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
