Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
porn star boner night. come get it.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
