I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
