well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
