I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
