At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
