I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
