but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize