Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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