You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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