The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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