Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
