He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
