it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
