Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize