They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
