i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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