Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
