I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
