Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Randomize
