yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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