I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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