He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
