i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
