Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
