I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
