Pappa wants mamma naked
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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