Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
