Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I puked a lego.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
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