I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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