obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
