i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
